Burnout

**my caps isn't working for some letters on my keyboard...the "typos" are something I can't help right now...

It's funny, I've been reading Elizabeth Foss' "Comfort and Joy" e-book this Advent.  It's all about keeping your eye on the important thing, preparing for Jesus, and not pushing yourself to do everything.

she tells us to look at the Christmas tree lights, to slow down, to eat well and take time to pray.

I read, I agree...

and then: my husband informed me that our children's home schooling has been a joke lately.  I came down with a nasty cold on top of my lingering morning sickness, and I've been fighting migraines this pregnancy.  I am also slotted to host Christmas dinner for my (large) extended family.  [And I really, really love hosting my family!]

Yesterday morning I created a schedule in which our children would work diligently on their school work until noon, then we would go as a family into the basement and clean.  we had shelving units that need to be cleared out and a toy room that needed weeding and re-organizing.  There is a ping-pong table and a foosball table (courtesy of Gimli's 11th birthday this month:)).  I love the idea of the kids (and men) having "tournements" in the basement while the ladies chat upstairs.

As I finished math and reading on the couch with Rosie, I also suddenly felt feverish.

I stumbled upstairs to my bedroom and climbed (crawled?) into my bed.  Legolas came up, sobbing, because his Daddy wouldn't let him watch an episode of "Curious George".  I pulled him in next to me.  Eowyn came in too, and cuddled next to me with her dollies.  For some reason she likes to stroke my cheeks...

I gave very specific orders to my children as to their jobs in the basement.   They were eager to help.

And then my husband came in.  Legolas had fallen asleep (pretty sure he has my cold).  He said that if I was this sick that we couldn't host Christmas.

Luckily, there are ten days to go.  But it was a low moment in a very dark day.

After an hour of basement work, the kids were sent back to school.  They worked until it was totally dark outside: 4:00?  I am eagerly awaiting the 21st of December; on the 22nd the days will grow longer again!

we turned on all of our outdoor lights and all 8 of my children went outside to play in the dark (and wet--I did yell at them to get out of the huge puddle at the end of our driveway).

I threw together something for dinner.  we began "Dangerous Journey" by Laszlo Hamori (recommended by Auntie Leila) as a read-aloud for the whole family and we all got hooked (highly recommend!!)   we lit our Advent candles and prayed a family rosary.  I went to bed when the kids did, and was asleep before most.

Today is a new day.  I'm focusing on pacing myself.  school comes first this week.  Then cleaning.  I'm going to be very patient and save my baking for the days before Christmas that we take off of school.

And if I don't recover from my cold, or move a bit past this morning sickness, then we really might let my mom host Christmas.  

I can't burn out.  I can recover from sickness.  I can cut my loses.  I really can cancel hosting Christmas.

 I can't cancel Christmas--that comes, He comes, ready or not.  I need to be ready.