Ok, B--I'm giving this a whirl, but it'll probably be a lame attempt! Still, I love you, and you inspire me, so I'll see if I can make it good!:) (And then you can pin me! ha ha)
HOW I "DO IT" (i.e. How To Be a Mother To 8 Children and Be Happy Too)
Well, the first presupposition, that a woman wouldn't naturally be happy with a large quantity of children in tow, just needs to go. Children are the joy. So let's just get that clear right from the start: your children are your great blessing. True riches. And unlike just about everything else in this world, they get to go with you into eternity.
If you're with me so far, that's tip #1: If you're going to have a bunch of kids, you'd better realize the glory of the human race. Then you'll realize the dignity of your calling--yes, you!, with the spit up on your shoe and the baby diaper leaking on your white shirt (what? That one didn't happen to you? Lucky you.) We're raising immortal souls here ladies. Quite honestly, I don't care when you last showered! (But do, (shower) because you'll feel so much better!)
2) Your husband is your best friend. If he isn't, work and pray really hard until you can make that a true statement. He'll keep you sane and make your kids listen to you. What else do you need?
3) Make your home your sanctuary. It's not a prison or a cage (as feminists have worked so hard to have us think). You like to "get out" or you "go crazy"? That doesn't mean that your home isn't your happy place. Go ahead--hit the pavement, find a friend at the park or grab coffee…but your home needs to be beautiful and comfortable and full of food and clothing for your children, husband and self. (Food, clothing and shelter. Yep, we're talking real basics here). We all need a place to be provided for, nourished, and loved. It all happens here. With 8 kids in tow, do you really want to make it happen somewhere else? (Think: "table for ten", how many hotel rooms?).
3a) about that beauty: "Clean" is actually your first step towards beauty. I know because I've bought some lovely items in my day, and if they are scribbled on in Sharpie, well, it takes the edge off. So do the dishes and your kitchen, no matter how un-updated, will be a pleasant place to put on a pot of tea. Pick up the piles of toys and books and find shelves or baskets for them. A clear surface is really good for your chi. I heard that once. I'm not really sure what chi is. I think it's something I'm morally opposed to, but I must say, a clear surface really reduces my stress levels!
3b) about the food: simple, basic, and plentiful. Wanna know what I buy? Milk, eggs, butter. (Half and half and coffee because I'm an addict). Bread. PBJ. Oatmeal. Pancake mix. Deli turkey if I send my husband because I have no patience at our SLOW deli. Chicken. Ground beef or turkey. Pasta. Rice. Bananas. Apples/grapes/oranges--whatever's in season. And then I try to throw in as many veggies as I can on top of all of that. So, broccoli and stuff for salad (spinach or romain), baby carrots…stuff my kids will eat. And we do a bunch of kefir and yogurt.
That, my friends, is what you call food. What do I make with it? I don't know. Whatever inspires. With BBQ sauce or Ketchup you can make the above into meatballs or meatloaf (add breadcrumbs to the list). Any random pasta/chicken/veggie dinner (maybe add pasta sauce to your list). Chicken salad (add mayo to list), which reminds me to throw tuna onto your list and you've got friday covered. Maybe some taco shells/tortilla shells because tacos are easy and good (add black olives to list).
I'm telling you. That is ALL I buy! (ok, chips and salsa in moments of weakness). My kids do drink almond milk and juice in somewhat random and theoretically limited quantities.
3c) clothing. This is my weak spot. I hate shopping. My advice: try to buy less, try to buy quality, and if you have good sale/thrifting strategies employ those! Then, get more underwear and socks than you could imagine an army needing. Don't listen to me--I got that one from Auntie Leila. And she's always right!
4) "Sleep, prayer, and exercise." Some other mother of a large family said these are the three things necessary for a happy mom. The friend who shared this with me (another mother of eight) said to this she'd add "a good book". I think they're right. I hate this one.
a)Sleep is soooo annoying!! Who has time for it?! What a frustration--trying to sleep while nursing, for instance. Alas, here's my take: go to bed early and hope for the best. The more hours you can get in before midnight the better off you'll be, and that's a good thing--because you may not get many in after. (Just saying).
b)Exercise. If I don't like sleep, I REALLY don't like exercise. Who has time for this?!! (Did i just say that?) My advice (that I struggle to live out): lift heavier weights than you thought you could. Pumping heavier iron (for me, this is like 15 pounds) gets you sweating fast. Do a hundred crunches and hop on something for cardio until the kids make you stop (somewhere between 5 and 30 minutes--ha!-if you're lucky!)
c) prayer. mmmmmm. Do I need to speak on this one? It's just a way of life. Your life-line. Don't stop. Ever. ("Pray constantly" 1 Thess 5:17) St. Paul's got the idea.
d) the good book is a bonus.
I'm just going to stop here. That's my list. The basics are covered so you can maximize your time loving your children in peace and not chaos.
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