A beautiful young mother came to me today, her 8 month old daughter in tow. This mother-daughter pair are indisputably beautiful, and their dark hazel-brown eyes match. The mother stays at home, makes homemade baby food, takes her daughter to mommy-and-me swim class, and just got a new pink Schwinn with a baby seat on the back so the two can bike around the pond at the neighborhood park. The baby's pink bike helmet with giraffes on it is the cutest thing I've seen.
I was at this mama's home last week. There was a dark wicker basket filled with gourds on the kitchen table. The house was tidy and I was offered a drink. There were baby gates to keep the baby safe. This mother cooks dinner the majority of nights, and her meals are intentionally nutritionally balanced.
So why, with tears in her eyes, did she tell me this morning that she had suicidal thoughts and wanted to die? Why? Because someone had suggested that she needed to read more to her daughter. "I read for hours to my..."
And now she thinks she's a bad mom. Couple this with tiny little errors (oops! that piece of corn from my Mexican food was too spicy! Quick, baby, let's nurse! There, that's better) and it leaves a mom feeling like the happy wind got knocked out of her mommy sails.
Today, I'm giving my advice on those voices. Your Mother-in-law, the lady at the grocery store, the other mom at the park. Voices being any words, kindly or unkindly meant, that really really threaten your inner peace. Here's the cure. Ready? NEVER REPEAT THEM TO YOURSELF. Not over and over again as you go about your day, not as you shower, not as you lay awake at night feeling miserable. Place those words and the person who spoke them on altar of our Lord and His Blessed Mother. Unite the pain with Christ's in His Passion, offer it to Him for the salvation of souls and forgiveness of sins and move on. Leave that pain with Christ and forget the words. Remember that whoever said something is also loved by God, so pray for the one who persecuted you (even unknowingly). It will feel so blessedly good if you do.
Remember that chair I told you to find? Go get curled up in it. Light your candle and get out your Bible. Read in the healing peace of the Word.
Now, firmly resolve to forbid old words to creep back in.
If I'm honest, there's probably one thing you could do before shutting these words out forever. Honestly assess the criticism if you must. Do you agree with the criticism? Do you think something needs to be done about it? Are you already doing that? Ok, then you're good. You are accountable only to God for your behavior, and He understands your every need. He is there to help you and strengthen you. Ok, so you read a book to your baby today, or maybe a stack of books. But soon you realize that this stack of "sparkle n' shines" doesn't make you a good or bad mother. It's just one little drop of all of those good things we want for our children because we love them. We love them, we want what's best for them. And we'll fall short here or there, but in case anyone cared to take stock, we will always fall short because our children were created for someone much greater than us. They were created for Him. Our love, our good things, are just a way of preparing them for the relationship, the life of love that is to be lived with their God for all eternity. A bike ride on a glorious fall day might just as well replace the touch and feel barnyard board book on any given afternoon. But you didn't need that argument, because we're not here to answer the voices. We are here to heal ourselves in the sanctuary of our heart where Christ dwells within us.
No comments:
Post a Comment