"When we had our children, our ideas changed somewhat. Thenceforward we lived only for them; they made all our happiness and we would never have found it save in them. In fact, nothing any longer cost us anything; the world was no longer a burden to us. As for me, my children were my great compensation, so that I wished to have many in order to bring them up for Heaven" -- Saint Zelie Martin, mother of St. Therese of Lisieux, canonized October 18, 2015 along with her husband St. Louis Martin.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

An Easter blessing

This Christmas, we returned from our visit to my in-laws in the Southwest and got the stomach flu.  It took two weeks to travel through our family.  Then I got head surgery done on some hereditary benign cysts (TMI?) and then we got the stomach flu again.  When that was over we put in hardwood floors. This also took two weeks, during which the main living areas of our home were off-limits, and of course, it was the middle of winter, so...we were a little "tight".  Then my baby, not yet One, caught the worst croupy cough and fever we have ever contracted which kept him up at night for at least a week following the week of fever which had kicked off the illness.  And then it was Holy Week. I started feeling sick myself at the end of the prior week, no big surprise. But on Wednesday, my sickness took a suspicious turn toward nausea.  When I still detected that tell-tale symptom the next day, I asked my husband to please help me free my mind from suspicion and get me a pregnancy test.

On Holy Thursday, we discovered that we had been given an Easter blessing which is Due on Christmas Eve.

It is a beautiful thing to receive blessings from the Creator on high feast days.  One of my sons was born on the feast of the Immaculate Conception, and I always feel Our Lady's grace is poured out upon that child in a special way.  To conceive during the feast of the Resurrection of the Lord and to be due during the feast of His Nativity is also profound.  I reflect upon the unmerited gift of life, which no one can give or get of one's own volition.  I reflect upon the eternal consequences of the creation of an immortal soul.  All creation is changed for all eternity when God creates a new human life.

Those are the more lofty thoughts.  Then there are the name lists and the wondering if it will be a boy or a girl, and the praying that this child will indeed be born to us.  The natural reaction of elation and being thrilled and giddy at the thought of another child! ...and then at the very bottom of my admissions, there are the doubts and practical concerns that must be considered when one is expecting her eighth child.  The truth is, I am perfectly aware of the fact that I am by no means qualified to be a mother to this, or any, child.  Without going into detail about my personal defects, the truth is that this knowledge is in a way a consolation. I can't, but God can. He has and He will. It's my job to do my best to let Him do what I never could.  I just have to cling to Him, and the rest will be given.  So, I really am not sweating the details.  With 7 children already, it's easy to see that I'm outnumbered and failing on any given front at any given time...but I also see beautiful things in my children and my family.  To paraphrase what one pope said before bed each night ("It's your Church, God, I'm going to sleep"), I'm saying "They're your children, Lord, I'm going to sleep!"

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