Backyard Update

I tend to get excited rather easily about new ideas.  The Little Oratory has been percolating in my mind as I go about my rounds in these first days of Summer.  Our yard has needed attention for a number of years and has been neglected since we usually leave for the summer months.  So, since we aren't leaving this year, I have been able to get to some of the projects I've been wanting to do for too long.

To begin, I planted a bunch of hosts along the edge of our forest to neaten it up.

Then I planted a whole bunch of hydrangeas. I need to get more pictures of these, but here's one bloom that Arwen captured. I need something that doesn't require much sun, but that is large, so it doesn't get dwarfed by the scale of the forest.

There is a sort of clearing in the middle of our woods, and I've long wanted to turn it into a little shrine area.  Well, since I've got "Oratory" on my mind, I thought…ingenious! an outdoor oratory!:)
 Right now it's still bare, with our little St. Francis perched on a rock.  I tried to frame out the "entry"with hydrangeas, which I'd like to place paving stones between, making a path inwards.  I have my eye on a beautiful and large Mary statue at the local garden center.  A birdbath would round things out…and a bench! We'll see how much I can get done. But it's there I'm my mind.

As a fun little surprise, we discovered a bunny hole in our yard this year.  Well, I'm playing the part of Mr. MacGregor this year, as the rabbits have eaten my roses (shoo!!).  But there will always be a part of me that is on the side of the rabbits! Bilbo was excited at the prospect of feeling the bunny fur that is left in tufts around the hole.  I am guessing we'll have little kits hopping about soon.  

I need to get some more pictures, but that's what I've got for now.  A little peek at my summer hobby. I really do love gardening!!  Flowers just make me happy.  However, I need to get back to the inside of my house, which always suffers when I get lost in an outdoors project for the afternoon.  Luckily, pasta salads are a good summer dinner…so I can sort of slough off in the kitchen and get away with it!;)  At least, for a day or two.

Summer in the Little Oratory-Chapter 2

I found a spot.  A spot for my oratory. Even if we aren't sure we need one, since our whole house is an oratory. I'm just going to make one and see.  There's something to just taking someone's word for it. And technically, this idea comes from the Catechism (CCC2691)…so, it's not just Auntie Leila.

Actually, my quibbles on this subject from my first post were answered in Chapter Two, specifically, under the section entitled "Holy Decorating":

 "It's nice to have a small reminder of faith throughout: a crucifix, an image of our Lady.  The idea isn't to shock and awe with our religiosity….On the other hand, we Christians want to reflect our belief and devotion in every room…so it's fitting to have a reminder wherever we are."

But… the prayer corner or little oratory is still worth creating as a sort of altar in the domestic church.  The Catechism recommends a considered place for personal prayer, suggesting that such a 'prayer corner' within a Christian family "fosters prayer in common"(CCC2961).

So, I'm sold in theory.  And here's a peek at my ideas.  Right now, the room looks like this.

Pretty, huh?:)

 Yep, I think there are six or seven paint samples on my wall, and there are way more swatches laying around. And…I'm pretty sure I"m going with "Banana Cream", a pretty creamy yellow color.  The decorating tips are coming in handy--Leila and David recommend soft whites on the walls, and "neutral colors that relate to nature's tones".  That way, the artwork can stand out and not clash with the paint color on the wall.

This guy is going to be replaced too(do you see the paint stain on the corner?)…on the cheap! Wait till you see my (mother's) ingenious idea! 

 You'll have to wait to see how this project evolves.  I'm personally curious to see! But back to the book study!!

Chapter Two just might be my favorite. I keep re-reading sections. I read things out loud to my husband.  
It's really…good.  The section "A School of Virtue and a Domestic Church" is pure poetry!  I just had to scan in some highlights:

    " The child has to learn about the existence of everything….Yet as a child, he must first be                         loved….Even the first act of the mother, which is tenderly cradling her child at her breast, is formative. 

 As soon as we start to think about this, we realize that far from benefiting from lectures on "The Good" or The True" or even "How to Behave", the child can really learn virtue only in a setting where he can be nurtured and corrected by those who are simultaneously struggling themselves to grow in virtue and who treat him with the warm affection only family bonds can supply." 

Yes! Love my children! I think I often feel like I need to deliver those lectures on "The Good" and "The True" and "How to Behave"…when I really just need to struggle to be virtuous myself and treat my children with warm affection.

There's enough to ponder all summer in itself!

The Little Oratory

Yes, I bought it.  You can too, here's the link.
 Laugh if you must. I cannot resist books that are in the self-help line of mothering.  But this one was by Auntie Leila, guru of motherhood and housekeeping! The great one. Call her what you will, but read her blog! Then see if you aren't tempted when you find out she has written a book.  Plus, there is free art in the back of the book made by an artist who has a connection with one of my favorite past professors.  David Clayton is the artist and he works at Thomas More College where a certain Dr. William Fahey is president.  There are just certain people whom it is good to keep company with, if only by hidden and somewhat stalker-like methods.

So, in fairness, I had decided I would love this book before I ever opened the cover.

But I am so glad I did! Because I just loved it! I loved the decorating advice (natural colors, fibers, symmetry) because I always struggle on that front.  Some people (usually artistic) have a knack for decorating. I am an impressionist, so my decorating can look a bit…hodge podge.  Concrete and practical tips are very helpful.

It's awesome that there are free prints to frame right away in the back of the book…so you really just need to find a place on your wall and get a frame and you can make your little oratory right away.  It makes the book something of a "kit".:)

I'm a huge fan of the line drawing illustrations throughout. They were very inspiring in offering different ways to create an oratory in diverse locations.

And then…there's the whole Liturgy of the Hours thing.  Mm. Again.  First it was Elizabeth Foss who told me she set her phone to bells for each of the hours. Then it was Sarah McKenzie who, I think also listened to the hours on her phone.  And now Auntie Leila?!! All of my blog mentors! All telling me it changed their lives.

So. I tried. Once. I uploaded the hours onto my phone (which I'm completely proud of myself for doing since I'm technologically dense).  I listened to part of the morning prayers once.  The voices sounded like robots. My children started mocking.  My husband said that he had tried to do the Liturgy of the Hours but that it was hard for him…too many words. Too long. There really is a lot there with the psalms and songs…

But now Leila is suggesting just one hour. Vespers? And then there is this notion that it could be sung in church and the general public could simply attend.  That would be so amazing.  I wonder if I could ask some priest around here…  we'd probably need some musician as well.  But perhaps in time.  And until then, as long as Elizabeth is hosting the "Summer in the Little Oratory", I might just try vespers for summer and see how it goes.  If it is life changing, I'm going to tell you!

Now, one final thought.  I am one of those cradle Catholics who grew up praying the rosary and loving my mother's beautiful statue of the Blessed Mother, which we always crowned with flowers during May, or gave fresh bouquets of flowers to.  I can't imagine my fireplace mantle without my own "Mary" on it.  I also have much loved crucifixes to cast glances of love or supplication at throughout the day.  I have icons. I have statues of favorite saints, perhaps with a candle next to it.

  These are little places throughout my home that make my home our little domestic church, our little oratory.  But…I do not have a prayer table.  Not one specific place with a collage of icons and a candle that we draw around to pray as a family.  We sit on our couch and look at the mantle with the statue of Our Lady of Fatima and see the crucifix on the wall.

  St. Joseph is on a side table and St. Therese on the piano.  There are candles, perhaps one on the coffee table to light as we pray.  So…my big question is…does this count? Or would it be better to create a sort of shrine.

  A prayer space set aside. Not just the entire home, but a more poignant place in that entirely Catholic home.  My husband thinks what we have is good enough.  I mean, we are hard pressed to find room for more sacramentals in our home! But, I'm pondering this. And if I am inspired (and I am getting creative), I will be sure to share what comes of it.

That's where I'm at after my first foray into "The Little Oratory".  It has certainly challenged me, and I'm excited about what good may come from it yet!

Arwen in the Garden

Photo Credit: Arwen

                                                                             

Photo Credit: Arwen

Photo Credit: Arwen

Photo Credit: Arwen

Photo Credit: Arwen

Photo Credit: Arwen

Photo Credit: Arwen

                                             

Photo Credit: Arwen

Photo Credit: Arwen

The Heck-Yeah School of Mothering

This post has been rolling around my head for a while…I'll see if I can pin it down in a spare moment!

Years ago, the wonderful Danielle Bean posted on laundry.  She said that her method was the "Just Do It" method.  Rather than worry about how many loads per day, which day, what schedule, the fact was that laundry just simply needed to be done.  I've updated the slogan for myself and also extended it to every area of housewifery.  Probably five years ago my nephew was dating this completely hip gal from California and I was shocked when she spoke at the dinner table. Someone simply asked if she liked, was it pasta? and she responded with a "hell-yeah".  I was shocked because I was raised to be a bit more proper at the dinner table. But then again, I am not a hip leggy blonde from Cali either <sigh>.  Watching pro-sports it occurs to me that this once avant-garde response has filtered its way into plain-speak, if not into refined conversation. Unfortunately, I see less of "h-yeah" and more of "f----yeah" in those arenas (just reading lips, you know, say, after an important tackle.)  I'm simply trying to justify my much tempered use of these otherwise boorish phrases by letting you know that I could choose something much more bold.  I'll simply use something that fits my place in life as a cozy midwestern wife and mother, it's the modified and toned down "heck-yeah".

Here's my theory.  Rather than creating lists of daily chores and duties, I have one simple answer to all questions regarding housework. The answer is "heck-yeah".  It's my alternative to "Just Do It".

laundry? "Heck-yeah"
Every day? "Heck-yeah"
Dishes? Heck-yeah
wash your floors? Heck-yeah
Do you vacuum? "Heck-yeah"
Every day? "Heck-yeah"

It works this way as well:

Do I need to do dishes? Laundry? Bedrooms? Basement? Oh heck-yes. Every single time. Every single day. I have a GInormous family and my kids are all really close and little. They make huge messes and it's pretty much up to me to manage it all. I am in a full-on mothering moment of life…and that's just how it is right now. So, I have to get-r'-done: heck-yeah!

Now, before I scare everyone off from the idea of having a big family (since my whole hope in blogging is to share the JOY of this lifestyle), I want to say that I DON'T actually work all day every day.  I just try. And then, there's the well-timed coffee break.  And the sitting in the midst of the mess to read to your children.  And the sort of feeling like a rockstar because this is actually my life and I am actually somehow the mother of this amazing group of human beings.  A huge surge of gratitude to God for the gift of this life and this family.  At the end of these musings I usually end up begging God to help me because there is no way I can do this on my own strength.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

Some things are worth trying to do, trusting that God will make up for what I lack.  You know the old saying "work as if everything depends upon you, pray as if everything depends upon God"? That's another way of putting it.
I just sort of like the kick I get out of looking at my sink, floors, and laundry and telling myself: "heck-yeah!"

Birth Story #8

 I have been promising big things.  Birth stories, for one.  I'll see how far I get.  Love multiplies with each new child. Time, for better or worse, does not.:)

  Eowyn's birth story begins almost exactly like Legolas'.  It was raining. It had been raining for a few days, on and off, and with the barometric drop, I had been having contractions.  Then there was a calm day, my due date! I went to the doctor and scheduled an induction.  (I always cave at the end).  That night found me timing contractions again. I was praying to my guardian angel that I would know when to go to the hospital because the contractions were regular and close, but not long or strong.  I just didn't know how to time it, given how quickly I can have a baby once labor begins "for real".  I felt one good sharp contraction and called it quits: "Let's go."  My Mom was called and we woke Arwen up to babysit until she arrived.  We left. In the dark, in the rain.  The ride on the highway was..fast, and a little wild.  But my husband delivered. Not me. He fulfilled his promise to "get me there" before the baby came.


I was treated with special attention.  In fact, I think the entire nursing staff was there helping to whisk that delivery room into shape (I'm pretty sure something about having your eighth child with a history of speedy labors makes you stand out among the crowd of laboring mothers).  I got into a jacuzzi tub (heaven).  And two hours after I arrived at the hospital, Eowyn was born. It was the Eve of the Presentation of Mary, and so her name contains a nod to the Blessed Mother.

I do not wish to dwell long on my critiques of hospital deliveries, but I will say that I believe a midwife would be the cause of fewer complications.  She would cause fewer because of her gentle and attentive care and respect for the natural birth process.  Specifically, she does not hurry things along.  She works to protect peace and quiet and the beauty of the moment of birth.  She would be horrified at the overhead lights that are flicked on at the moment of delivery.  She would resent the aesthetics of the plastic/paper bag that is attached to  the foot of the bed to "catch" birthing tissues and what have you.  She would not appreciate the sharp orders to "scoot down more…more!" as the mother prepared to birth her child. She would never tug at the umbilical cord to help the placenta detach more quickly.  And, one of my precious memories from my home births is quietly waiting for the umbilical cord to stop beating before cutting the cord, because that blood is beating to go into the baby.  It's the precious final moments when my baby receives my own blood.   Then the cord is cut.  But in a hospital, the metal clamp scissors were applied and the cord was cut as my baby hung from the doctor's hand, waiting for the arms of her mother.  The metal clamper scissors swung from the cord into my baby's face as she was handed to me.  Harsh, cold metal.  

To be fair, this never happened in my other hospital births, but it's a very good example of the type of thing that makes a huge difference, once you have experienced the precious, gentle, quiet of a home delivery. 

I guess I dwelt a little longer than I hoped.  But it is a reality for me, and it's hard to share without that honesty.

But as you see, Eowyn is here. She is healthy, thriving, chubby.  She is a very joyful, content baby who laughs easily and rarely cries.  Her siblings think she is the cutest baby ever. I'd agree with them, but then I happen to remember each of them as infants, too.  In the end, I am most grateful to God for our health and the life of this precious little one.  I don't care too much about whether or not I made the right decision as to where she was born.  I am glad she is here. I have precious memories from those first days of her life.  I'd like to share more of those with you, because even with eight children, it is good to know that a mother will always cherish her child as infinitely precious and unique.  If I had quit at having just a few children, I would never have known the mysterious glory that is each new child.  

More on measurements

Rosie is clearly struggling with her sense of measurements.  A few posts back I recorded her asking how much she "cost" as she stepped onto the scale.

Over Easter she was telling her dad and Uncle Mike about a dead frog that we passed on the road. (It was right on the path and we actually walked right over it.)  Uncle Mike asked her how far away it was from her.  Rosie answered in silence, because Rosie is shy and answers no one outside of our family.  So, her father followed up on the question:

Dad: "Yes Rosie, how far was the dead frog from you?"

Rosie: "I don't know"

Dad: "Was it close or far?"

Rosie: "I don't know, like, how many miles??

…

The next day we were getting gas and my husband got into the car.  Rosie asked: "How many inches did you get?"  I sat in the front seat completely confused by her question.  My husband replied "I got 20 gallons".

Three year olds!