Spring Break 2021

 Our family has always traveled frequently.  We began our marriage on the East Coast while my family was from the Midwest and my husband's was from the Southwest.  We always flew or drove to see family. As the number of children we had increased, I realized that it would be helpful to live near "a" family, so that we would only have to travel to see the other.  We ended up near mine. :-) 

Every chance we had to get away, we only ever went one place: to visit my in-laws.  They happened to have pretty nice weather there in the Southwest, so I was usually pretty happy to head their direction.  However, as the years have drawn on, it did occur to me that we never actually went on a family vacation.  Never.

My husband has always loved the ocean, and he always wanted to show the ocean to our children.  My Mother-in-law was due for a visit, and she was dubious about the weather she might meet so far North at this time of early Spring (wise woman).  She suggested we meet--in Florida!

My husband leaped at the opportunity.  I sort of sat by and thought it wouldn't really come to pass.  My Mother-in-law seemed to falter.  I figured she'd bail and we'd cancel.  But she didn't bail.  And with plane tickets purchased for our oldest daughter to join us from college on her Spring break, we began our long drive from the Midwest to St. Augustine, Florida.

I've driven to New Mexico by more routes than I can recall, and I've been to Virginia and back easily a dozen times.  But I had never been south of Indiana, that far East.  Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia were all beautiful lands!  I loved each one.  

After 17 hours, we found ourselves in Florida.  We couldn't go straight to the ocean because we had to wait for my daughter's flight to come in at the airport (about an hour away from our rental property).

Instead, we found a National Park.  The Spanish moss hanging from the gnarled tree branches made for a magical, mysterious forest to explore.  It didn't hurt the excitement to learn that there was an 8 or 9 foot crocodile living in a culvert by the path we hiked.  

Then we toured an old civil war fort, and saw a dolphin from the view of the ocean at the top of the fort walls.

Soon it was time to go get my big girl!  I always love homecomings with her (even if it wasn't exactly "home").  She was on time and seamlessly walked out to the van as we pulled up along the curbside pickup at the airport.  Always thankful for smooth, safe travels!!

We headed straight to our house on the ocean.  Everyone was ecstatic at the idea of starting the vacation in earnest, and getting out of the VAN!  

Honestly, it was super windy, a little drizzly, grey and chilly the first day.  We braved the weather and went out to see the ocean anyway.  I'm thinking that to describe the ocean is a little foolish.  It is beautiful, breathtaking, awesome.  I'm pretty sure it would be hard to remain an atheist in the presence of something so amazing and immense.  I simply found myself contemplating the grandeur and glory of our God, the Creator of this universe.  My heart sang and my spirit soared.  

**all of the above was a draft from 2021, at which point I stopped Blogging.  I'm unable to retrieve photos from this vacation, so I'm posting as-is, and moving on! 

  

Remodel 2021

 Ok my friends, here's a photo dump for the "BEFORE".  We put in this master bathroom when we bought our home 13 years ago.  I always thought is was a pretty nice bathroom, but unfortunately the insulation wasn't placed around the ductwork and we ended up with a mold issue.  If you look at the ceiling above the window, you can see where it was decaying.

Also, the wood began to warp at the bottom of the medicine cabinet that rested on the counter between the two sinks.

Close up of the ceiling.

There was also mold growing under the floor near the tub, where caulking wasn't done properly.

In addition to addressing the bathroom issues (aka gutting the thing to the studs), we had this carpeting in our upstairs hallway and master bedroom:

It was "ok", but there were stains that couldn't be removed, and then it started "bunching up" in areas, not laying flat anymore.   Our master bedroom was actually once two bedrooms, which became a "suite".  We put my husband's "office" on the other side of the room.  When it came time to do the new floor, we moved our bed into the office, which looked something like this:

Which was actually better than it could have been for if we had decided to do hard wood flooring, we would have had to move everything out altogether.  This way, we simply shifted everything to one side, and then the other once the new floor was in.  The new floor is a pre-finished hard wood that just clicks into place to install. 

Clearly we bit off so much more than we wanted to chew, but we also addressed a structural issue in our kitchen.  The floor sloped about two inches.  In order to get rid of the nasty yellow linoleum flooring and complete the hard wood throughout the main floor by bringing it into the kitchen and den, we had to fix the slope.  So they tore out the subfloor:

can you see my son in the basement?

Here's a glimpse of the originally grey vinyl that had gone yellow:

It wrapped into that back door on the right which is the main floor powder room.  (The door at the end of the hallway leads to the garage.)  So that also meant we'd be tearing out and replacing the powder room flooring.  One thing leads to another...

Here we are with the new wood laid:

and this is the front den adjacent to the kitchen which also got the hardwood floors (this was the "other half" of our house that never had hardwood put in when we added it to the first half about 9 years ago).

The empty closet space you see there was the home of a particle board desk, which smelled.  (Particle board absorbs odor).  It was also where my son placed his turtle tank.  This room was the room I gave to my three boys to make a study out of.  It had baseball hats and sports pennants hung on nails on every wall!  It was also where I put my dogs to kennel at night.  If you imagine old, stained, muddy berber carpeting instead of the wood floor, you'll start to get the picture!  Ew.

Here are the glorious new floors...except there was a hitch.  They peeled.  The sealing coat actually peeled off straight to the wood.  So we lived with peeling floors until everything else was finished, and then the floor company came back and did them all again!

We took the opportunity to change the color of the dark grey walls.  

And that's the "before"!  Next up: the reveal!

Sitting a While

Advent was a blur.  We began a massive home remodel in November.  I had called the contractor in June, made a trip to both New Mexico and Virginia, by van, in July andAugust, and what with all things "COVID", we were finally on the schedule to begin work just in time for the holidays.  I had no stove on Christmas.  I hadn't had a stove since early December, actually.  

I had a little PTSD from last Christmas.  We had gotten a terrible multi-family wide flu.  My mother-in-law had a massive stroke on the 29th of December, just as I came down with my case of the flu.  As soon as I recovered, my husband flew to visit his mother in the hospital.  By February my husband needed to take another week to care for his mom, and he returned just in time for the pandemic to shut all of in our homes until summer.  

My prayer this Christmas was for health.  This prayer was graciously granted.  My sister was able to make a visit with her beautiful family and I finally met my newest nephew for the first time.  No one got sick during that visit either.  Praise God!

After the holidays and the visitors, I started seeing trees coming down.  I made New Year's resolutions with the best of them, and no one loves Spring Cleaning and "Resets" like I do!  My entire family is made up of minimalists (minus one maximalist eldest brother who is most certainly an exception to that rule!) and while you wouldn't know it by looking at my home (filled with the "stuff" of an eleven-person-strong homeschooling family), I love empty, white spaces.  But I didn't start my "January Cure".

Somehow, I couldn't purge the mantle of the nativity scene.  I couldn't take down my tree.  I sat, I've been sitting, through these twelve days of Christmas.  Come Sunday, the Baptism of the Lord, it's going to be packed away until next year.  I am so grateful that I decided to just SIT a minute.  NOT pack it all away.  Jesus is still a babe in the manger, then brought to the temple, then worshiped by the Magi.  On Sunday, He will appear to us "all grown up".  It really does happen in the blink of an eye, as I see as I look *up* at my sons, now 17 and 16 years old.  Babies don't keep.  So, while they are in arm, I sit.  I gaze, smell, and savor this quiet, brief moment.  

Welcome, Prince of Peace!  Come and save us, Infant King!  Savior of the World.  Emmanuel.  

On Life and Death...Reprise

 I have another post by this title (I think that one may be "on Death, and Life") but once again I am at a tangled crossroads where I have seen the Lord give and the Lord take away.  I have a new niece, named for "Mary the Dawn", who gave rise to the Son of Justice.  I got to hold her for many good long moments after our Thanksgiving feast.  A beautiful new life that weighed so little I wasn't quite sure I had her tight!  

My best friend lost her husband this week.  I'm not going to tell that story, it's not really mine to share, but it impacted our lives...more drastically than I would have anticipated.  Of course, he was not only my best friend's husband, but my husband's best friend. 

My friend and I met in high school.  We both had judged each other by appearances (negatively) and I'm not sure we ever spoke (I was like that in high school. She was just more reserved).  One serendipitous moment in a bathroom led us into a conversation that would change my opinion of that girl, and change my life forever.  It wasn't a deep, meaningful conversation.  We had been surprised by Christmas gifts that the most popular girl in school decided to gift each girl in our class with.  We both felt a bit "pegged" by the gifts received.  My friend had received a stuffed teddy bear, as I recall.  Her reaction was priceless!  She made me laugh until I cried.  It would be the first of many many laugh-til-I-cried laughs.  

I'm pretty sure she was my best friend from that moment forward.  She convinced me to go to the college I went to.  She convinced me that the guy I had a crush on all through high school was not the right guy for me.  She convinced me to date my future husband.  She was right at every turn.  I've regretted nothing that I took her advice on.

When my Father-in-Law passed away, we drove the 1800 miles home from New Mexico as my youngest sister went into labor, and then delivered my nephew (ironically named for the patron Saint of safe travels)  as we crossed the border into our home state.  Death, and life.

Here again, the week preceding Thanksgiving was a week of mourning with those who mourn.  I almost missed my niece's Baptism.  But I made it, and rejoiced with those who rejoice, as we welcomed my sweet niece into the family of the Church.  I helped her mom slip her tiny body into her Baptismal gown.  Three days later I saw the white funeral pall slipped over the coffin by the parents who had once dressed their son for his Baptism.

Ashes to ashes.  

That white robe, the white burial cloth, and the white robe we will be clothed in on the Final Day, if in God's Mercy we obtain the reward of Eternal Life.

Intertwined, life and death.  Death and Resurrection.

Somehow, somewhere in the midst of all of this is joy, and peace.  It is in the Hope of the promise of eternal life.  Trust in His love and mercy.

Tomorrow is the first day of the new Liturgical Year, the first Sunday of Advent.  I pulled my ratty old Advent wreath up from the basement.  We look for the coming of our Redeemer.  The God who so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that whoever might believe in Him might not die, but have eternal life.

We prepare for His coming now, but also every day until He does come for us.  I strive to wait in peace, hope, trust, faith...joy.  He was that infant, tiny, fragile, so beautiful.  His also was the cold face of death, taken too soon, buried by His Mother.

He is where that tangled crossroads becomes a straight path.  It is a path that leads us beside still water and allows us to lie down in green pastures.  He shepherds us, spreads our table before us, anoints us with oil. He restores our soul.

He guides our feet in the way of peace.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

Come, Lord Jesus!

Charlotte Mason-ish: Nature, and your Home School

Full disclosure, I do not do a full Charlotte Mason education for my kids.  However, I like a lot of her instincts and think she's pretty spot-on in general.  If you're like me, and "need" the structure of more formal tools (i.e. workbooks) to keep things "on track", you still can glean the good stuff by adding it right into the mix!  (You know this has a name, right?  It's called "eclectic home schooling"--I actually googled it back when a friend used the term!)

For those who are interested in incorporating Charlotte Mason principles into their home school, but aren't sure where to start or how to proceed, I suggest:  Go ahead and get your morning of "desk work" in.  Then when both you and your kids are ready for a break, do this:

Throw a blanket on the grass.  Put a magnifying glass on the blanket (keep your eyes out at Dollar Store type stores, these are often sold as cheepo toys and work fine for these purposes). Then toss on a pad of paper and some colored pencils.  You get a lawn chair and a nice glass of iced tea.  Tell the kids to find "nature", to study it with the magnifying glass, and to draw/label it (you might have to help spell "p-i-n-e-c-o-n-e" or "m-a-p-l-e l-e-a-f") in their "nature notebook".  You can scroll your phone at this point if you want, but I'd actually recommend just being present in the moment, trying to take in the beauty yourself.  It's a great time to relax, but let's be honest, the kids are going to be coming to you constantly.  Otherwise, I'd say bring out a nice book of spiritual reading. You can sure try!

Ok, done? Great.  Now, is there some old bench or picnic table, porch step or log you can use? Tell the kids to line their stones and leaves up on the "nature table".  I have seen nature tables recommended for the house, but I personally recommend leaving the moss and dirt outside.

If your kids are the imaginative type, have them build a "fairy house" with their findings.  If you have objections to fairies, a) read more GK Chesterton and then b) call it a "frog", "mouse" or "bunny" house then if you must.

Even if you only do this once in a blue moon, it will get your kids used to really LOOKING at the nature around them.  They'll notice a cool rock or beautiful flower.  They'll want to save it for their special fairy house or nature table.  They will learn to play outside with the stuff of nature.  It's so healthy and so great for imagination.  Bonus: the kids are out of the house, so easy on Mom!  You can milk this time by bringing them popsicles or a snack.  Good Mom, Smart Mom! The kids will think this is great fun.

Next step?  Try to find some cool picture-heavy field guides of flowers and birds.  Toss them on the blanket the next time you're out.  Maybe make or set up a bird feeder.  Tell them to find/identify/draw all the birds they can. Kids love this stuff.  It's magical for them. And you didn't even have to buy a pet!  You can YouTube bird calls and the kids can learn to identify those too.

Now, buy some binoculars and bird watch from that blanket the next time you're out.  Why don't you take the PBJ's outside and call it a picnic? Your kids will officially think you're the best mom ever!  And when they're done eating/watching, let them just go swing on the swing set or hit the sandbox.  It's recess break! And you can be doing dishes or catching up on phone calls while your children are outside happily forming a beautiful moral imagination!  I'm telling you, this is a great way to home school!

Do not fret: not everyone has rolling hills and acres of woodlands surrounding their home.  It doesn't matter!  You can develop a love of nature in your children no matter where you are!  I'm a crazy indoor-plant lady, and I firmly believe that my children are benefiting from seeing all of the different leaves and blooms!  They see me water and re-pot with new dirt.  It's great!  My sister-in-law grows tomatoes in pots on the outdoor porch off the back of her second-story duplex.  There's room for a small cafe table out there.  We have sat there in the fresh air, had coffee, and watched the clouds roll by.  It's lovely.  And it's a great place for kids to put a pinecone rolled in peanut butter and bird seed to see what feathered friends they can lure in!  They can play in the fresh air, even if it's simply a 4x6 space.

However, ONCE in a while, at least once a new season, I highly recommend really "getting out" and making a memory.  Whether this is a day at a Nature Preserve, or a day at a beach, a day of hiking, vacationing at a National Forest, or camping, whatever fits your family is fine! But it's worth the effort to really get out into nature as a habitual way of recreation as a family.  Think about the difference between kids who recreate exclusively by playing video games, watching movies, even playing organized sports and vacationing at Theme Parks and those who eat PBJs on their picnic table and go fishing on the weekends.  We certainly love our sports around here, organized and otherwise, but the point is, there's something very healthy about living in closer contact with nature.  In this day and age you really have to be intentional about doing that, or it might not come to you.  But now you see it's not so hard to do! And then if you want to hit Disney Land as something on your bucket list, go for it!  Your kids might just identify that bird eating fries off the ground at lunch!

That's it--from the micro to the macro: incorporating the natural world into your child's upbringing.  Easy!

Home Schooling "Must Haves"

mound of towels drying (in background) after summer pool time

I'm way too sanguine to be an advice giver.  Since I avoid conflict at all cost, I hate to advise someone and have them disagree, or have it not help.  However, far be it from me to hold out on anyone. I'll give you my best tips (which will not all be of my own discovery) as to what has worked in my home school.  I do have 9 kids, so... that might make my advice more helpful or less helpful depending.  Just keep in mind that my #1 tip is that I encourage you!  I believe in you, Mama.  Whatever your home looks like, if you discern that you WANT to (or even MUST) home school, even temporarily, you most certainly CAN!

wooden window inspiration from dollar section at Target

windowsill above Rosie's desk, all her special things

What has helped me: (Tip #2--1 was just encouragement:)) desks.  We work at our LARGE, always extended, dining room table every day. But after you have about 3 kids, it's going to get too noisy for everyone to be there together.  I'm explaining, someone else is trying to think, someone else is asking something... we naturally need to spread out.  We always use our FOUR (4), full-sized, couches as well.  Do you have a dining room table and a couch? That's a great start!  Now...desks.  Target sells the best desk for $100 (I've gotten them on sales too, then it's less).  Here's the link:

https://www.target.com/p/paulo-wood-writing-desk-with-drawers-project-62/-/A-14517908?preselect=52398882#lnk=sametab

It's an awesome awesome size for middle schoolers up.  One huge drawer, and it's wide enough for "bins" or baskets of books to be kept underneath, with plenty of room for the chair/kids' feet.  IF you have room for an individual desk for at least your older students,  it can really help keep them and their materials organized.  It's anathema to have siblings rifling through a desk that's not their own.  It helps accountability for being organized and having your stuff together and not just blaming it on the fact that everything gets lost in a big family house! (It does).  The "tragedy of the commons" is conquered by taking away the excuse that it's always someone else who lost it.  Further, they can find a quiet corner to place the desk, which can help them actually focus and get work done.

Some of my children rarely use their desk to work at, but at the end of the day (or if I find something strewn behind a couch) there is a "dumping zone" for all of THEIR stuff--and I'll just put the (old socks, fishing lures, book, whathaveyou--on THEIR desk, for them to organize and (not lose) and manage later.

That's a whole lot of talking.  Desk.

Tip #3: a globe.  If you have room on a wall for maps, definitely hang them.  I actually love maps on bedroom walls by the bed, so kids can just gaze at them and let the geography sink in as they daydream.   But not every house has room for maps, and I think Atlases (while some kids love them) are hard to use with kids because they divide all of the awesome maps according to continent or country and it's super hard for the average human to look at all of those and just put together a great picture of where these places are in relation to the world at large.  A globe is such a great visual! "Here you are," and "HERE is ....fill in the blank...!"  See how FAR Christopher Columbus had to sail?! Now check out Magellan's route! (spin the globe).  Plus, some globes are pretty, and I've seen them on my sister's side table in her living room, color-coordinated to her decor!  Check Hobby Lobby!

Tip #4: school supplies.  I know everyone has a budget, but I'm telling you: get new, fresh, fun, bright school supplies every year.  Maybe you don't need (crayons, markers, paints, construction paper) EVERY year, if you have a super-abundant stash.  But we ALL benefit from the thrill of a fresh start. Not just the slog of another school year.  And it's not only school kids who deserve the fun of new supplies.  Target always has cute pencils and erasers in the dollar section.  Oriental Trading sells supplies in bulk.  It seems to me that most moms like Walmart for supplies...but that could just be a weird local thing.  Idk.  I'm not telling you to bust any bank.  But a fresh pack of crayons for 49 cents is totally worth the joy it brings to the new school year.  I also think that kids having their OWN (crayons, markers, etc) is special for them.  We do share paints, craft supplies, even markers most of the time.  I don't buy 9 boxes of colored pencils, 9 glue bottles, etc.  But I might get my kindergartener their own glue, just because I know they'll need it for all of those "cut and paste" pages, and it's nice for them to have one tucked in their desk.

Tip 5: wooden rulers (or at least HARD clear plastic).  Lest I shame myself by over explaining, I just want to offer this advice: those "slap bracelet" rulers are a gimmick. Enough said.

Tip #6: Planet Earth.  Blue Planet.  National Geographic. Name your nature program.  My kids have learned more from those shows than any science textbook.  We read about these mammals/amphibians/birds/reptiles/invertibrates in science, but those nature programs are so high quality at this point that it really brings the natural world to life.  It is also nice to have something for the kids to watch that is educational (you just have to keep an eye out for stuff that's too PC or evoutionist for your personal beliefs).

Tip 7: White boards rather than chalk boards. Period.  I have three large white wipe-off boards lined up on one wall in my schoolroom (just hammered in a nail and popped em up) which creates the effect of a large chalk board.  Works great.  The markers are more vibrant than chalk and you don't have to wash the boards or deal with chalk dust.  Not everyone does a "chalk board" to teach, but I'm SUPER visual, and can't explain without just wanting to SHOW!

fridge art

Tip 8: Rolling carts for storage.  I use one and call it the "art cart".  I roll it from desk to desk as I look for some stray marker or scissors or water colors.  When I find a ruler/tape/pens laying around, I just toss them in the cart.  It's my catch all and gets to be a mess by the end of the year, but it gives me a landing place for all of the "stuff" that doesn't have an official home in a school room drawer.   My sister uses one cart for each child, giving each kid their own color cart for all of their books and supplies.  Most carts have three shelves, and it gives a lot of storage for those who don't have tons of shelving space.

Tip 9: Um, books.  I'd love to say "library card" here, but sadly, the vast majority of books in the children's section of the library are drivel.  If you go to the library, make sure you know what author or series of books you like, and direct your kid there.  I've read ten too many books about how little Sally realizes that a new baby isn't the worst possible disaster to strike her young life.  Or how Henry Hippo discovers that he's beautiful even though he's different than all the other animals of the Sudan.
Make a wish list and give it to grandparents and Godparents.  Give books for St. Nick, the tooth fairy, whatever.  You need a family library of high quality books for all ages.

I fight my husband every year to let the ivy grow over our windows.  Destructive, they say, but so pretty!!

Tip 10: Toys.  This is where I'm going to talk to you about minimalism.  Clutter equals stress.  Clear surfaces equal peace (not deep, lasting peace, that comes from God).  You are going to have to keep a very active tab on what you have: how much, is it being used, etc.  I purge all of the time, especially before a big influx of new things (Christmas, birthdays, new season). But kids do need some things.  Bikes, balls, riding toys, jump ropes, roller skates/blades, a sandbox with shovels and buckets and maybe a dumptruck or two.  All of that is "easy" in the sense that it's out doors (and husbands/sons are great to put in charge of garages).  I actually love organizing my garage, but that is a very odd quirk of mine, and I expect no one shares it.  Toy rooms are my bane.  I strictly limit my toys.  We have a trampoline.  We have a dollhouse and a kitchen, a train table, a Noah's Ark and a barn filled with animals. Also, army guys and wooden blocks and ...Magnatiles! But you need several boxes of Magnatiles and they're super expensive, so, Grandparents! Amazon wish lists.  Drop hints.

Now, some kids have collections of stuffed animals.  My own child (unnamed) has one.  I make her keep them under her bed in a bin.  I highly discourage such collections.  I highly discourage stuffed animals.  But of course, there are probably 300 in my house!  With this type of collection (think Legos, baby dolls, anything that you can find yourself having WAYYYY too many/much of)...just do what I do: try.  Fight.  But then, move on for a while (be it a month, year, or decade). Because you know your kids need some things.  Everyone does their best. We all lose the stuffed animal battle (unless you're my youngest sister.  Then you've got it well in hand, along with everything else you Type A woman you!).

That's 10 tips, so I'm stopping there.  See? My advice isn't really so great.  But I just haphazardly threw my first ten thoughts at you rapid fire.  Add your own in the comments!! OR link me to your own post! I'd love to hear your advice!

Weekend Getaway

Speaking of "emerging", re-entering society after the shut-down that was Spring 2020, well, there aren't that many places to go...but nature is always there for us!  We headed to the "family farm" and met up with my sister who lives the state over, 31 weeks pregnant, and her family that we love and miss!  So so awesome to see her before the baby comes!

We happened to land a most exquisitely beautiful Spring Saturday.  We lucked out because the baby sheep were delivered that day.  The cows were hiding in the shade, the pigs ran in a group of 5 as we got too near to their pen.  It was awesome to chase them down, my 3-year-old laughing at their tails, and my almost-2-year-old Goddaughter holding my hand as we tromped through the tall grass.

cousin love

 Lest anyone ever fail to believe that "siblings are the best gift you can give your child", let me proclaim again and again: it's true!  And the gift keeps giving generationally, as my family of 8 kids now has provided dozens of cousins for my children.  Cousins are the best!

After cousins, those Aunts and Uncles need shout-outs too!  I mean, who wouldn't love this burly farmer to be your uncle?! He's even cuter up close!

There were at least three (other) uncles giving rides on the farm vehicles.  I'm pretty sure there's nothing more exciting for teen-aged boys than wild rides through the farmland on ATVs.

Thanks to Nanny (that's grandma!), we all had homemade tick spray, and not a tick was found on anyone, including those kids who rolled down the enormous hill outside the farmhouse door.

Driving home, dirty and happy after the day on the farm, I could only bask in the glow that is a big, loving family.

Is our family perfect and without a misunderstanding or disagreement? Nope.  But I share this not to make anyone jealous or to brag, but to share the joy that is FAMILY.

It's worth it.